Have you ever seen the perfect pair of pants hanging on the rack but they were out of your size? What about the cutest pair of shoes? What do you do; do you starve yourself for two days just to be able to button the pants? Do you shove your foot in them anyway and strut through the pain?
What about life? Do you force your way into situations and places that clearly don’t fit you and what you are all about? I know these are a lot of questions, but most of us do just that. Why do we force situations and people instead of allowing things to occur naturally? We begin to rush, push, pull and drag the situation and do our best to make it conform and appear to be just what we want or desire. If there is even an inkling that it looks like what we want, we don’t weigh the options or look at the whole picture, we just grab on and hold on tight and in the process fooling ourselves that it is just what we want.
God has instilled in us a voice to lead and guide us. However, silent or screaming, we ignore that voice even when it is trying to get us to stop and even run from something that’s not best.
I was dating a guy once and because he was a man and I was a woman, I thought we were suppose to be together. There was signal after signal that clearly this was not the man for me. However, I continued to push and even brought up the possibility of marriage. Was I crazy or just plain nuts? Either way, I was forcing something that had nothing to do with God’s plan. Again, he was a guy and I was a girl. End of story. Time to get married and live “whatever” ever after. I say whatever because it was clear it would not have been “happily” ever after.
Some people are so full of themselves that there will never be enough room for you. There was no way this guy was going to live up to what I needed or desired. First of all, he was not the one selected for me by God. Secondly, he was so full of himself and everything else, that there would never have been enough room for me.
We meet someone and pour out our heart and soul to them. We give them every intimate part of us and yet we get nothing in return. We attempt to force our way into their life and heart even though neither one of those things has any room for us. We cry, whine and complain because this person isn’t being our everything, when in reality, they were never meant to be.
There are varying reasons as to why we do this. Self-esteem, loneliness, insecurities, etc. Each one of them adds up to chaos in our lives. While in the pursuit of someone to fill the void, we lose sight of what is important. That small voice in our mind continues to scream at us but we do so well tuning it out that it becomes a dull whisper and ultimately silent.
Never let your feelings get you stuck in a losing cycle. Never sacrifice your soul and who you are for a cause that, clearly, won’t last. In my quest for companionship I was spirally downward into unhappiness and it cost me my heart and sanity. My only purpose was to avoid being lonely. I would accept mess and call it my boo. It’s not longer necessary to settle for less. Enjoy being with you; treat yourself; get to know you. Get all that you desire from life. You deserve the world. If you don’t believe it and strive for it, you will always end up settling for second best.