It’s Never Okay!

ImageToday I have the privilege to speak at an event entitled “Girls & Golf.” They topic is dating violence.

This subject is not easy to talk about but it’s definitely necessary. Unfortunately our girls are engaging in dating and other things much younger than their mothers and grandmothers did.

I played with dolls until I was 14 years old and loved every minute of it.

 But these days, dolls are traded for boyfriends. That’s not all bad as long as we take time to educate our girls and consequences of rushing into relationships with boys when neither of them are ready.

 I was 15 when I met my boyfriend. It started off great, just kids hanging out playing and chasing the ice cream truck down the street.

Unfortunately it turned into something that I could not have imagined.

I remember the first time it turned into a physically abusive relationship. His mom and friends were there but no one did anything to stop him from putting his hands on me. It was an unfortunate incident and as soon as it occurred I knew it was wrong. I picked myself up out of the grass and went home. I didn’t speak with him for a couple of days and eventually he had one of his friends call me. I told him how wrong he was and that I wouldn’t be with someone who put their hands on me. I sounded convincing and even believed what I said but what was lacking in my life allowed me to forget the words I had just uttered.

Once I spoke with him, his charm kicked in and convenient amnesia took over and I was right back at his house.  Little did I know that that one act would send me down a spiral for the next 10 years.

We have to know our worth. We need to know we are not a punching bag for someone to work out their frustration. We are not garbage who can be treated, talked to and mocked. We need to recognize what love looks like and that a closed fist or open hand doesn’t constitute love. Love does not come with black eyes, emotional abuse or self doubt.

Today I know my worth but that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with the past that has occurred. However, instead of letting my past defeat me, I choose to share my story so that others may identify and know that something better is out there.

I had to learn that it was better to be alone than to be hurt physically and mentally. There is more to me than that and I desire more.  I also learned that it’s okay to say you love that person but it’s best to love them from afar.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, seek help today. There are so many organizations out there. I volunteer at CHOICES domestic violence shelter. They are an awesome organization making a difference in the community by protecting and educating women.


NMB! is built with tears, pain, loss, bruises and frustration but stands firm on the promises and foundation of Jesus Christ.

If you desire to be around like minded individuals who are just trying to make it just like you,  join us at No More Bandages! women’s ministry. We meet the first Wednesday of each month, 6-7pm, Refuge Temple Church, 555 Moler St, Columbus, Oh 43207

We also have “Breakfast Chat” on the first Saturday of the month, 10-11:30 am, Franklinton Library, 1061 W. Town Street, Columbus, Oh 43222. Bring your breakfast with you and let’s talk about today’s issues that you may be facing.

For more information visit us at

About nomorebandages

No More Bandages! promotes spiritual healing of the heart, mind and soul. NMB! focuses on, what I call, the spiritual and natural bandages that we place in our lives. A bandage is anything we use to cover up a wound. Those bandages can hinder our growth. Once that bandage is identified, it can be removed, allowing God to begin the healing process. God can heal cancer just as easily as a broken hea rt. It all lies within our desire to be made whole. I am blessed to be able to share my life and the abuse I endured beginning at just four years old. If I help just one person, my hurt and pain is not in vain. We all need healing in our lives.
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2 Responses to It’s Never Okay!

  1. dawface86 says:

    Wow Stacey, OVERCOMER. Gods Grace, mercies and His blessings, are truly upon your life. You are such a blessing to me and others. I love what you represent. You represent our Father. Meek, loving and kind, are words that come to mind when I think of you. Also strong and healer. God had predestined this day and time for you. Never be discouraged because you don’t see… Never let numbers be a distraction. God has the people He wants you to have. Just stay obedient. He knows what desires you have. I know you and I don’t know each other all that well, but God has shown me your Spirit. I love you and I’m truly standing with you. I see your vision and you have my support! ~Destiny


  2. Thank you so much Destiny. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that today. I appreciate you and your encouragement so much. Love you too!

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