The Chronicles of Chronic Pain
Broken leg, no problem.
Stab wound, right this way.
Stitches, come on down.
If I had broken my leg when I fell that day, these last few years would have been much easier. Several doctors have even agreed with that statement.
I’ve found that an illness you can’t see with the naked eye is easily dismissed, discarded and even frowned upon. A broken bone or a cut can be quickly diagnosed. In and out of their office quickly, no problem. However, when your illness and pain can’t be seen, it can start you down the road of test after test of test just to diagnose. Our bodies are complicated and a simple band-aid isn’t always the answer.
About a month after my fall, I went to Grove City urgent care in tears. My leg was burning so bad and I couldn’t take it anymore. I sign in, pay my co-pay, then wait in the room. All the while i’m hoping and praying that this person would be able to fix or cure me. Finally a knock and the doctor walks in and says “Yeah, I can’t help you.”
“There’s nothing I can do for you.”
I know my mouth had to be on the floor.
I just didn’t understand why on earth she would say that even before she takes her hand off the door knob. Is someone out to get me? To torture me until I die. I’m sitting here crying and, without even an examination or anything, she makes this determination.
It was the first time I heard that said to me, but definitely not the last. The more I think about that day, the more hurt and angry I feel.
Some months later I heard a term i had never heard before. Then it clicked. That doctor thought I was “drug-seeking.” I’m not positive but why else would someone, whose job it is to help those in need, just dismiss me so easily without so much as a hello? But since I was crying hysterically in the room, I’m sure that didn’t help my case at all.
Never give up. I’ve seen tons of doctors. Maybe I’ll try to count all of them one day.
My real diagnosis came 2 ½ years after my fall. I suppose that is a short time frame compared to others. Thankfully I found several doctors who cared and weren’t ready to put me in a box or specific category.
I learned I’m worth fighting for. Dr. Lippert told me I needed to share my story.
This is my chronicle of chronic pain.